Why are we grieving Steve Jobs?

Sounds like the headline for The Onion Info-graphic, but I ask it seriously. Perhaps I should add the word “personally” before “grieving.”  I sensed a real outpouring of love that evening on the internet, fleeting as it may have been. Many re-tweets and FB posts simply said the word “Sad” and then had a link to the news.  I felt personal grief as well and then wondered why.

Several things come to mind:

Cancer makes us angry – I think we hate it because it is our bodies turning against ourselves. It’s like a physical self-loathing we cannot control and it strikes, or seems to strike, randomly and with unknown intent and aggression.  The pattern, also, is just predictable enough to be horrifying. You get a diagnosis, you often get a remission, but it seems to always return in 10 months or 10 years, but it’s stalking you the rest of your life.  Of course, mortality is stalking us all, but cancer gives it that creepy Final Destination feel.

Cut down – Implying the continued potential of someone’s life adds to the grief of its ending.  When a 92 year old dies, our grief is different and I suspect it’s because their potential to give, influence, and experience is waning. They did it. It’s okay for them to go. But consider, in Mr. Jobs’ case, he lived, gave, and experienced more than most will in 100 years.

Powerless – All the money, all the friends, all the genius cannot save you from early death. You’d like to think that if you had what he did, you could “fix” life’s suffering. No.  We’re all stuck here together. We all experience the same liquid in the coke can. We all return to the dirt. That sucks.

Icon – Truly an American idol. And I suspect when we place someone in that position, to represent our nationalism, and then they are made powerless and cut down, we deflate.

Guilt – We know life goes fast and it’s difficult to be reminded. So, I think part of the grief comes from not just asking but feeling the heaviness behind the question: If you had cancer and had 10 years left to live, would you do exactly what you are doing now?

 

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