A friend, with 5 children who works full time, recently asked me why I decided to go back to work & volunteer extensively for school all while still obviously being a Mom. I could have asked her the same thing! But, you know, her decision was made a while back and I bet the answer would be very different.
My change has been sudden and the reasons, on paper, are all logical. I want to earn money, relieve guilt of not earning money in my prime, be more helpful at school since I only have one kid, maximize my time.
But the real reason is super weird, so I didn’t answer in mixed company (besides, did she really want my weird answer?).
I decided, this year, to try a two part experiment:
1) Fill my schedule in winter to see if it alleviated my depression and anxiety.
2) Challenge myself to do something I felt would be the utmost uncomfortable for me in order to grow. Namely, call and solicit people to support the school (I HATE the phone + introvert).
So far, I am less depressed. Free time is my enemy that way. Another bonus, I get more done, which is all like, duh, but I mean the energy of filling a day makes me efficient in all realms, especially my fiction writing. And finally, making calls has gotten easier. I have formed a solid mask for this extroverted task. I wouldn’t say I’m comfortable, but I am overcoming fear. And that’s cool.
So, that is Winter/Spring 2014 in a nutshell. The Summer Slowdown will be much appreciated and the sun will allow me to truly relax and stay joyful.