Anyone want to help me?

I am working my way toward the Genesis Contest at ACFW, where last year I got great feedback including one judge who said she/he couldn’t wait to read the published work.  Me too!  This year, I’ll be submitting my new manuscript, working title: Blown into Flame.

It’s a story about a desperate daughter who must find her missing father and sell her parent’s co-owned estate in order to pay for her mother’s cancer treatment.

My 25 word, one sentence summary is giving me grief. Currently I have:

To save her mother from cancer, a desperate daughter must find her missing father and sell her parent’s co-owned estate to pay for treatment.

I cannot tell you how many times I have re-written that sentence. It has conjunction-itis. Anybody got re-write ideas?

7 Comments

  1. I should learn to control those smiley faces 🙂 🙂 🙂

  2. We’ll look for your name on the semi-finalist list 🙂 🙂

  3. Yeppers! Submit it and forget it. The last part is often more difficult than the first.

  4. Soooooo, did you succeed in making today’s Genesis deadline? 🙂

  5. To pay for her mother’s cancer treatment, a desperate daughter must find her missing father and sell her parent’s co-owned estate. ?!?

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